Death Hotel

I dreamed I was staying in Baltimore, Maryland at the Nothankyou Hotel. The Nothankyou Hotel was a big ritzy hotel, famous for the fact that no one there ever said "thank you."

I was checking out of the hotel and I wondered if I would be able to drive back to Canada by sundown. I dragged myself along the sidewalk through the dirty snow to where I'd parked my car, a good eight or ten blocks away. I got in behind the wheel and started up the car and drove across the snowpacked parking lot towards the exit.

Just as I was about to pull out onto the street, there was a huge thump and the car came to a halt. Through the windshield I could see where one of my front wheels had come right off the car and was rolling away towards the busy street.

I shut off the engine and got out. I chased after the wheel, and when I caught up with it, I picked it right up off the ground in time to feel the tire deflating in my arms. There was a large gouge in the tire that must've happened when the wheel came off the axle.

I was holding the wheel of my car in my arms in the middle of downtown Baltimore. Panic rose inside me and I fought it down. I had to get back to Canada, but now it looked like I would be at the mercy of whatever auto mechanic I could find in this hostile foreign city.

I carried the whole wheel right across the street to a garage called "Baltimore Tire And Auto." I brought the wheel inside and laid it down on the counter. The woman behind the counter looked down at the wheel and started talking really fast. She said they could fix my flat but it would be a little while before they could get around to it.

I tried to explain that my problem was a little more severe than a flat tire, but she was talking so fast I couldn't really get a word in.

Just then one of the mechanics came around the corner and fired a laser pointer right at me. I winced and threw my arm up to cover my eyes. If he managed to shine that thing in my eyes, the results would be catastrophic for everyone. And yet he obviously knew exactly what he was doing.

Shouting and swearing, I tried to go after the evil mechanic. I had to stop him... although if I didn't, it would scarcely matter. Because everyone would be dead.

But the mechanic slipped away and dodged behind a car. For some reason I was moving way too slowly to catch him.

Looking down, I saw that my entire pantleg was soaked with blood. Blood was trickling onto the floor. The blood created a crimson pool that was spreading out all around my feet.

I could hardly feel my leg. I could hardly walk.

Posted by philip at 11:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I had a dream that I was walking up a street in Halifax with a couple of friends. It was after midnight and we were on our way to some downtown bar to catch a live band.

I happened to walk past where my car was parked. A cop was standing there. It looked like she was getting ready to write out a ticket.

I went right up to her and said, "Hey, what's going on?"

The cop pointed at my car. "I'm writing you a ticket. You're blocking the driveway," she said. "You're lucky I don't have it towed."

I bent over sideways and checked out the back bumper of my car. My bumper was sticking out maybe a half-inch past where the curb sloped down. The driveway in question was very wide. My car certainly wasn't blocking anything.

I stood up and stared straight at the cop until she looked up from her notepad. Then I slowly opened my mouth.

A bunch of spiders came rushing out of my mouth. Lots of spiders. Dozens and dozens of spiders.

Black ones, brown ones, big ones, little ones, with furry little bodies and wriggly legs. Hundreds of spiders. They poured out of my mouth and fell down onto the ground, landing in a big squirmy pool at my feet before scurrying off in all directions across the sidewalk.

A few of the spiders ran straight for the cop and climbed up onto her shoes. She exclaimed in disgust and tried to shake them off her feet and brush them off with her notepad. She backed away into the street and started freaking out a little bit.

My friends and I thought all of this was really funny. The cop, not so much.

Posted by philip at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know I probably shouldn't do this but lately I've been obsessed with watching the three Jason Bourne movies over and over.

Twice recently I've had a nightmare where I'm driving the wrong way down a highway into oncoming traffic. I swerve and dodge around big trucks and somehow manage to avoid hitting anything until I can pull my car over.

Once I've stopped the vehicle my first impulse is to sit there for a minute, catch my breath and let the adrenalin rush simmer down a bit. But I don't do this. Instead I quickly turn the car around and merge right back into the stream of traffic.

I drive back the way I came, past the chaos I've just caused, one more car among cars. No one knows about the role I played in all this highway disruption.

Later on in the dream, I might overhear a conversation from an angry trucker whose load slid off his truck. Or I might learn about a man who damaged his car when he swerved onto the shoulder of the highway and hit a guardrail.

I say nothing.

I don't believe in "karma" necessarily but this week I've been feeling like I'm on the wrong end of something.

Posted by philip at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The giant is only visible as a silhouette on the city skyline. He shows himself as a shadow in the spaces between buildings.

The giant’s hand is large enough to pick up two taxicabs at once. He plucks the taxis right off the street and raises them to the height of a skyscraper.

The giant squeezes the cars in his massive fist.

A warm rain of gasoline and blood is falling on Montreal.

Posted by philip at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I dreamed I was passed out on the sidewalk on a city street. I had no shirt on and the concrete was hot against my chest.

I was looking down at myself as though my spirit were floating up above the ground. Then my spirit swooped down and entered my body and I woke up.

I was conscious and was looking at my left arm as it sprawled out into the street. At that moment a garbage truck came along and ran over my hand.

The garbage truck seemed to have four or five sets of wheels. Every one of them went straight over my hand, crushing it into the pavement.

I stood up. I stumbled across the sidewalk towards the cowboy hat store. I wasn't really in pain but I felt kind of dizzy.

I stopped in front of the cowboy hat store and looked at my reflection in the glass.

Then I was inside the store looking out at myself. I could see myself through the display of cowboy hats in the window.

I watched myself slowly raise my arm into the air.

My hand flopped down. Each of my fingers was a long thin skin-bag full of shattered bones.

Posted by philip at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I dream I'm drinking tea with a woman. We're sitting in a log cabin that's also a fancy apartment in the city.

She's telling me about how she hates her name, which is Edith. I'm trying to tell her that Edith is an ancient name, a beautiful name, and no one in the 21st century should be able to give her any crap about her name. I'm being very passionate about this, mostly because I want to bang her so bad.

Then she stands up and opens up her robe and shows me her body and it is stunning, utterly spectacular. A huge cloud of butterflies comes flying out of her robe and engulfs my body. All the butterflies turn into bits of coloured tinfoil and chocolate kisses that rain down all around me.

Then I'm down on my hands and knees in a tastefully-lit car showroom. It's nighttime and I'm the only person in the whole place.

I can't leave the showroom because I'm locked in, so I climb into the back seat of a Mercedes and curl up into a little ball.

Posted by philip at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm standing beside the fountain in Centennial Park. They sky is overcast and it feels like it's about to rain.

In the dream I've been waiting a long time, but I'm not sure for what or whom.

Newspapers are blowing around the park in the wind. Sometimes the newspapers will form into the shapes of animals, little cats and dogs that will run around the park and play for a few moments before dissolving back into newspapers.

Some of the newspapers form into the shape of a tricycle. The tricycle just sits there at the corner of a the concrete walkway.

Then I'm lying on my back at the foot of a long sloping driveway. The tricycle starts rolling down the driveway towards me. No one is riding it.

The tricycle speeds up as it comes closer and closer. It's definitely going to run me over. At the last second I close my eyes. When I wake up my eyes are still closed.

Posted by philip at 02:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm driving one of those little Shriner mini-cars, cruising through tree-lined suburban streets.

Then I drive through a gate and I come out the other side and I'm out on the ice in the middle of a hockey game. It's a playoff game and everyone in the crowd is laughing at me and my Shriner car in the middle of the action.

I'm trying to steer towards the penalty box to get off the ice, but the wheels of the car have no traction and I wind up spinning all over the place. I bang into Todd Bertuzzi and knock him flat on his ass.

He gets up and snarls and raises his hockey stick to club me with it.

I notice that the blade of his stick has a tooth growing out of it.

Posted by philip at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I dreamed I was swinging by my legs from a trapeze. I was all alone in a huge circus tent. Back and forth, back and forth. Swinging.

Suddenly a huge spotlight came on and it was shining right in my eyes. I tried to shield my eyes with my hand as I swung upside-down. I shouted "Who the fuck is that? I'm just dicking around."

No one answered.

A bunch of Italian mobsters drove right into the circus tent and got out of their fancy cars. They proceeded to have a big mafia meeting right in the middle of the three rings.

I hung upside-down above them and listened in. They didn't realize I was up there. I heard every word.

Posted by philip at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)