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August 30, 2008

wrong way

I know I probably shouldn't do this but lately I've been obsessed with watching the three Jason Bourne movies over and over.

Twice recently I've had a nightmare where I'm driving the wrong way down a highway into oncoming traffic. I swerve and dodge around big trucks and somehow manage to avoid hitting anything until I can pull my car over.

Once I've stopped the vehicle my first impulse is to sit there for a minute, catch my breath and let the adrenalin rush simmer down a bit. But I don't do this. Instead I quickly turn the car around and merge right back into the stream of traffic.

I drive back the way I came, past the chaos I've just caused, one more car among cars. No one knows about the role I played in all this highway disruption.

Later on in the dream, I might overhear a conversation from an angry trucker whose load slid off his truck. Or I might learn about a man who damaged his car when he swerved onto the shoulder of the highway and hit a guardrail.

I say nothing.

I don't believe in "karma" necessarily but this week I've been feeling like I'm on the wrong end of something.